Boys to Men – Gentlemen

One thing I have is a very vivid imagination. I’m an unapologetic dreamer. I enjoy the limitless possibilities and adventures that my dreams and imagination offer me. Anyway, one day a question popped in my mind and I’d like to throw the same question at you – “Would you like your daughter to marry someone like your son?” I immediately started daydreaming about my daughter’s wedding day…honeymoon…life thereafter and I was jolted back to reality…Hmm! I still have some work to do. Now I absolutely adore my son. We have done our best to raise him right and I believe that when the time comes he would make a fantastic husband to a very lucky young lady. Having said that and so that I can see clearly and help my children make the necessary adjustments along life’s journey, I refuse to perpetually look at them through rose-tinted glasses.

Every parent prays that his or her daughter would marry a gentleman. I remember a quote I came across which says…“Being a male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age, being a gentleman is a matter of choice”. As our boys transition into gentlemen, at different ages, they need to be guided, reminded and encouraged to consistently make choices that distinguish them as gentlemen.

Let’s remind our boys that a gentleman:

  1. Is confident – not arrogant.
  2. Is humble – not timid.
  3. Minds his manners always – including table manners.
  4. Respects himself and others.
  5. Doesn’t curse or use foul language.
  6. Has good work ethics.
  7. Helps out with household chores.
  8. Keeps his word.
  9. Will never hit a lady.
  10. Respects his girls morals & values and won’t rush her physically.
  11. Shows good sportsmanship – learns how to win and loose graciously.
  12. Stays well groomed and dresses appropriately for the occasion.
  13. Keeps to time.
  14. Is a good listener
  15. Exercises self control.
  16. Doesn’t post pictures of his private body parts (clad or not) on social media.
  17. Doesn’t “kiss & tell”.
  18. Looks out for ways to help others e.g. simple acts like holding the door open, giving up your seat for a lady or an older person.
  19. Knows that kindness is not weakness.
  20. Is not perfect. He’s simply a man who makes chivalrous choices more often than not.

IMG_1734In all the hustle and bustle of life, let’s refuse to allow gentlemen become endangered species. Remember that the women of the future are counting on us to produce gentlemen that they’d be happy to spend the rest of their lives with.

So back to the question – “Would I like my daughter to marry someone like my son?” Absolutely yes after all 80% is an A* or a first class.

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16 thoughts on “Boys to Men – Gentlemen

  1. In all these teachings Charity, does the Bible have role as I know you are a christian mother. Interesting write ups though. Keep it up.

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  2. Charity yet another interesting post. I just forwarded it to my son for discussion later. Like you concluded/alluded I am sure by the grace of God he’ll turn out right.

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  3. Beni oooo! Mine even cooked and served me dinner last night without being prompted and I did say to myself I must be doing something right. Patting myself on the back lol!!

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  4. Yes o! She will probably wring his neck. I would like him to marry someone like me who understands him and would attend to his needs. At the same time his “pushful” sister has been a big advantage in his life and he appreciates her pushfulness.

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  5. Lol! Good question especially for those mothers-in-law who think their sons are Gods gift to humanity when in fact they are a nightmare to society and particularly to women. For my son I pray he finds someone who will love him no matter what because even me his mother can’t take some of the things he does.

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