Okay, enough of this madness! How has it gotten to the stage where every day you hear of a child who was raped by a very close relative? What is wrong with humanity? What is going on?
I just read the story of a 7-month!!!! 7-month old child who is fighting for her life because she was raped by her stepfather…I mean come on! Last month it was the story of an 11-month old baby raped by her 27 year old uncle. In January there was the heartbreaking story of a 2-year old girl who was unconscious after being raped by her father’s younger brother. And no, this is not just a Nigerian or an African issue, sadly it’s a global problem…it happens in USA, UK, India….
No matter the age of the child, RAPE IS WRONG! IT HAS TO STOP!!!
We need to seriously find ways to protect our children from these perverts. The question is how? Especially when the culprit is a very close relative or someone close to the family.
Let’s talk – suggestions anyone – please? Are there things we can do to ensure our children are not in vulnerable situations? Are there telltale signs that we should look out for? Can one spot a pervert? Please we need practical suggestions because this madness has to stop!
Kindly post your comments or send your suggestions to charity@parentinvestment.com.
ParentInvestment 
Secrecy is a manure for evil. We must speak out. As we speak, there will be culprits who will get punished for their actions and hopefully, this would deter others from committing the offence.
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Dear Charity ,
Sexual abuse is an issue that I am happy you are addressing and that is the first step –
To talk about these so called unforbidden things and bring them out to the public . For them to be exposed .
One of the reasons why it’s going on is because it is hidden , secretive and shameful for the victim so by default making it safe the perpetrator.
The perpetrators threaten the children by saying they will harm their families etc or say that it is a secret between the two of them .
You can not recognise a perpetrator as they are clever and conniving .
They infiltrate their way into the family in a position of trust – teacher , pastor , social worker .
But mostly family .
Yes family .
The family find out and then they are ashamed , sometimes blame the child who is vulnerable and therefore there is a double whammy .
As the perpetrators have already told the child that he / she will never be believed ….and
mostly they are not .
From my understanding you can not actually protect your children from these evil people but you can reduce the risk .
Always be around your child know where the are all the time , talk to them be active with them .
Know all the people that talk to your child or who is involved in their day to day lives or as a one off .
Be careful about who looks after your child and screen them carefully.
Don’t return to the house at the same time everyday change times pretend that you have forgotten something at home .
Be observant notice changes in your child’s behaviour .
Talk to them about appropriate behaviour and boundaries.
Talk to your child about items on Tv about sexual abuse and ask them what they would do and what they think of the issue.
Tell them that nobody should make them feel uncomfortable about their own bodies as it belongs to them .
Ask what they would do if it happened to them or someone they knew.
Basically have open honest discussions with your children. Build a trusting relationship with your children whereby nothing will stop them from talking to you .
A practical idea is having a safe word that only the two of you know that he /she can mention so you can prove more .
Another idea is discussing for example placing a shoe on a table or a picture in your handbag .
If it is ever found out never , never blame the child .
Don’t hide it , speak up .
I know it is difficult within our culture but perpetrators thrive in silence .
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Parents need to stay home more .maybe one parent stays home.until kids are 5 year old.make sure you include your helps in your nightly devotion .take them to church .most abusers have been abused.their thinking is warped..only the word of God can heal and Set them free.
Lastly talk to your children.about abuse , from a very early age.
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Thanks for the post and bringing to light this most hideous,frightening and despicable crime. As much as the economic crisis demands both parents to struggle to make ends meet ,it is important for parents to know that their wards cannot be trusted to anyone these days. Sex offenders must both be punished and identified amongst finding other solutions to this widespread problem.
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Here are my suggestions:
1. Housecleaning and Home rules:
-Separate beds and rooms even for siblings
-Parents to keep young children in parent rooms if guests are visiting ( I did that in the days we kept guest ministers in our home)
– Spouses to speak up if a partner/parent abuses a minor
– Parents not be quick to drop Children with anyone or see help as break from parental responsibility
– Househelps/ Uncles/Aunties/Cousins?? Limits and distance with children THIS IS THE MAIN ONE: even female adults with young boys
– Sleep overs ( even high school and college students get raped by friends relatives)
– NEVER DISMISS A SUSPICIOUS THOUGHT
THE HOLY SPIRIT WARNS BUT PEOPLE TRUST PEOPLE MORE THAN HIM SOMETIMES
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Thanks for your latest blog!My take is-We parents must revert to taking our traditional role of been the primary care givers to our children rather than dump them with people we don’t trust!Are we putting money before our children’s welfare?
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Parents can not be too cautious even at the risk of being labelled over bearing. Perverts do not look different from anyone just like carriers of some viruses do not look different from any other person. As much as possible children especially those that can not speak yet should not be left with only one adult especially one of the opposite sex. From the moment they can understand, teach them about parts of the body and why some parts are called private. Tell them what to do in different scenarios and do not make it a taboo to talk about how these different private parts feel or changes. Relations are the worst culprits when it comes to abuse because they have ‘trusted’ access so again all reasonable caution should be applied. Lets have these conversations in family and extended family units so the perverts know that people are conscious of their psychopathic behaviour. Society needs to name and shame these people but families hide the perverts to protect their family image which perpetuates the act. I know it is tough for especially young families to find adequate help amidst economic challenges but protection of babies and children should never be compromised.
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It’s really a tough one. I guess one cannot be too trusting of anyone. I think the point you’ve raised about having conversations in family and extended family units is brilliant. Thanks Lebari
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I think it’s time to have a sex offenders’ register in Nigeria.
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👍🏽 thanks for your contribution
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Practical measures please!
What can we all do?
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Please we really need practical measures. Thanks Fola.
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